What should I do?
Before you tell me to talk to girls about random things, I try. I almost always run out of things and don't take any chances because I stutter or speak too fast. My heart beats fast. I get very nervous to talk, let alone compliment a girl. The lack of my social skills and confidence will affect me in all areas of my life, I know that, and I want to change it. I don't know how ugly guys get beautiful girls. Because getting a girl mildly interested in me is almost an impossible task. Please help.I'm 25, male, and never been romantically linked with a girl. What should I do?
No one can help you..
Only you can.. :)
Learn to pretend to be social you knw..may be after sometime you'll be comfortable !!
don't panik..be calm..
and believe me..You are smart.. =)I'm 25, male, and never been romantically linked with a girl. What should I do?
maybe you have some anxiety,hang out with some as friends then it will be easier to talk to someone that you like,it will be fine you will know when the rite one comes along good luck
i am sorry to hear about what you are going through. first, don't say you are ugly. second, girls like guys who are confident. it is not all about looks. you have to try and get out there and hang out in public more often. i am not just talking about bars. what about joining a gym or a club of some sort? the point is that you have to get yourself out there and start getting used to being more social. as you do that, you will get more comfortable and soon will be able to talk to girls without being so nervous. JUST BE CONFIDENT. believe in yourself and show girls all that you have to offer. get out there, in public, and meet some people.
I could give you a very long and explaining answer... But I think you are looking for a short solution.
I am a guy and I know very well how you feel. You don't need to go and Speak about random things to girls and what so ever. All you have to do is go out there and fail over and over. Let me give a brief explanation of what I mean:
You need to loose the fear to fail and the best way is to fail so many times that you don't feel bad about that anymore. I live in Argentina, where ugly guys get beautiful women because they have no fear to try. To loose fear would give you confidence. So, the most important thing for you is just go out and try to talk to women. You might run out of your worlds fast, you might get your ears red burning of shame or the girl might even walk away. But it doesn't matter at first, all you have to do is to feel it natural to speak to a woman.
I recommend you to find a place where you easily can find women to talk to and try to talk one on one at first. It would be much easier. Try to say hello, to answer some stuff and if you feel the situation is awkward enough and there is not much to say anymore, get out of it by saying good bye.
This is like a ';crash-course'; training to loose shame. After that, I'm sure you will find it easier to talk to girls.
A makeover and Xanax. Hahahaa! just joking with ya. Good luck.
I think, personally, you should go to a therapist. He/she will work with you on the cause of your issues as well as building your self-esteem/confidence.
Good luck!
ok well when you start thinking bad or negative things about yourself stop the thought and replace it by something positive. sounds stupid but it has proven helpful. when you talk to a girl just try to remind yourself to slow down, maybe even admit to her you are nervous (although she can probably already tell) but you can laugh about it. also by telling her your not so good at it she will most likely try to help you along the way.
go to a bar and dont go for the cutest stuck up ones either. go for the ugly girls who are lonely and just get some practice in. once u feel comfortable talking to females u need to go to the loud obnoxious female and Ralph Kramden her. your self esteem should be at a preety high level at this point. then its icing on the cake
Get involved in some type of sport to help build your body and not necessarily body building. The next thing check hygiene, your style of clothes. An unattractive guy can get the beautiful girl all he has to do is feel good about himself. Also ask post your question in ';Men Heath';, for a male point of view. There answers maybe harsh yet a possible motivator.
You are no use to me. Socially inept males should move out of the way and let men with money through.
Yea, I used to be like that when I was your age. Actually, a guy's looks don't matter as much to a girl as you might think. As long as you make the most of what you've got, namely, bathe, have a decent haircut, have a reasonably good fashon sense, and so on, you should be OK looks wise.
However, acting nervous around a girl will probably creep her out. Acting relaxed and self-confident will take you far.
First of all, ask yourself what are you so scared of? That she'll laugh at you, and you will be publicly embarrassed? Are you worried that she will have some big boyfriend who will come over and beat you up? Are you worried that she will tell everyone that you are a creep, and the bouncer or the cops will toss you out?
If you are worried about getting your @zz kicked by a jealous admirer, then take a martial art. If you are worried about her ruining your reputation by calling you a creep, then remember you ain't in high school anymore, and no one cares; just laugh it off. If you are worried about explaining yourself to the cops, or a club bouncer, relax, they are professionals who are used to dealing with lame accusations from paranoid idiots; just remain calm and respectful, and you can easily talk yourself out of anything. If it is a mental thing, then maybe I can help.
For one thing, quit taking it personally if a woman rejects you, no matter how rude she is. Her reaction probably had nothing to do with you; she was just a jerk whom you didn't want to date anyway. Ask yourself, are you a good person? Don't you make a good loyal friend? If the answer to these questions is ';yes';, then it is HER loss if she doesn't want to date you. Rejection is your friend, because now you don't have to waste any more time on someone who wasn't good for you anyway. Move on to the next person.
It also helps if you would quit thinking about a woman as a goddess, or a hot piece of tail. Think of her as a human being with the same fears and insecurities as you. It might help if you tried to pick out some physical imperfection (everybody's got one) and focused on that (but don't talk about it - just think about it). It will make you realize that she is human after all.
If you are still worried about being embarrassed by a rude woman, then next time you sitting in front of the TV and you have nothing else to do, sit down with a pencil and paper and think of some good comebacks to some common insults. A good mature comeback that works for just about everything is, ';I'm sorry that your self-esteem is so low that you feel a need to be rude to strangers for no reason'; (It's true -- rude people are insecure, unhappy people). If that is too long to remember, then try saying, ';I'm glad that you like it, babe, but I deserve better than an immature b*tch.';
But be optimistic. Assume the best, and you will give off a positive vibe that will be contagious. Think of some things to talk about if everything goes well also. Think of some jokes to tell, or think up some funny stories about things that you have done that are entertaining and perhaps show your character. Certainly you and your pals have gotten into trouble somehow (just don't tell her stories about getting drunk %26amp; throwing up, or anything gross). Women pay attention to facial expressions and body language, so make sure that you stand up straight and puff your chest out (slumping implies low social status), maintain good eye contact (if you feel shy, do NOT look down, like most shy guys do; she will assume that you are looking at her breasts and get offended; look away horizontally as if you were looking for someone else), and remember to SMILE. If you act too intense and never smile, you look like a creepy rapist. Ditto if you follow her around all night working up the courage to speak to her; if you are not ready to speak to her yet, then talk to someone else in the meantime so that you look social %26amp; fun, and so that you aren't following her around. If you accidentally make eye contact from across the room, do NOT look away quickly as if you were some guilty little boy who is up to no good; look her in the eye for as long as you can stand it, and give her a little smile. And don't KEEP staring at her after that if you are not going to speak to her; find someone else to talk to or dance with while you are working up your nerve.
And above all, relax and have fun. It is not the end of the world if she doesn't like you. And someone who looks like he is having fun with his friends will look more attractive than a creepy, uptight loner standing in the corner.
I'm 25 and I've only had one girlfriend. But she was what most guys would call ';hot';. It didn't last because we weren't good for each other. I don't have low self-confidence, but I used to. For me it was going to the gym more and getting my life together financially.
Ugly guys get beautiful women by improving their own lives. Whether it's the gym, money, ';size'; or just finding something to dedicate yourself to something. And by something I mean not women. The difference between a man and a boy is that a man knows who he is, what he wants out of life and goes for it.
';Socially inept males should move out of the way and let men with money through.';
There are socially inept men with lots of money that aren't totally butt ugly. I went through grad school and made it a point to avoid people and focus on school. Social skills and lack of self-confidence are two entirely different beasts.
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